Chapter 3: The One Anothers

Social media has changed the world. When I joined Facebook, I was a late starter. For years I hesitated to engage in Facebook activity, fearing that it might steal valuable time from an already overcrowded day. I’d watched my wife—a veteran of social media—engage with people in meaningful ways and was finally convinced that it could do the same for me. Almost overnight I was connecting with people—believers and non-Christians, old and new friends, locals and internationals, ministry associates and lay Christians. I see the ministry-potential of such a medium, but there are also limitations.

The New Testament contains numerous calls to live in relationship with one another. Some of these “one another” responsibilities might be undertaken in part in an online relationship but don’t overestimate the fellowship-power of the Internet. Read the following list of New Testament “one another” commands and ask whether they can all be fully carried out online.

God wants us to:

·      Confess sins to one another (Jas 5:16)

·      Build up one another (Rom 14:19; 1 Thess 5:11)

·      Bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2)

·      Pray for one another (Jas 5:16)

·      Be kind to one another (Eph 4:32)

·      Submit to one another (Eph 5:21)

·      Show hospitality to one another (1 Pet 4:9)

·      Serve one another (Gal 5:13)

·      Comfort one another (1 Thess 4:18)

·      Restore one another (Gal 6:1)

·      Forgive one another (Col 3:13)

·      Admonish one another (Rom 5:14; Col 3:16)

·      Teach one another (Col 3:16)

·      Encourage one another (Heb 3:13)

·      Love one another (1 Pet 1:22: 1 John 4:7,11)

This is a serious list of responsibilities—loving commitments that can’t be achieved by clicking ‘like’ on Facebook!

Wayne Mack reflects on the “one anothers” and writes,

The Word of God is calling us to a certain kind of life that is necessarily tied to the lives of other people. We’re called to love and serve one another, and with such regularity and passion that our love and service may be described as devotion. Scripture indicates that as believers we have been set apart for loving and ministering to God’s people.[1]

That life of service and love requires commitment, forethought, proactive and reactive action, tears, laughs, and physical contact. It takes place in homes, over meals, with a handshake or hug, while passing a tissue, while rejoicing, while listening and responding, while looking into a person’s eyes. Digital social media can enhance our ministry to each other in some measure, but it can’t replace face-to-face fellowship.

People who love each other want to be together. That’s why a traveling businessman and his wife can’t wait to be reunited after a long business trip. That’s why a boy cries at the prospect of relocating with his parents thereby leaving his closest friends behind. That’s why long-distance dating must one day be replaced by marriage. We’ve been created for loving personal relationship and nothing less will satisfy.

If you choose to remove yourself from the local church and listen to sermons alone, you’re choosing not to practice the “one anothers” of the Bible—you’re choosing to disobey God.

Thabiti Anyabwile says,

The public assembly is meant for the edification, the building up, the growth of the Christian. Neglecting to participate in the corporate life of the church or failing to actively serve and be served is a sure-fire way to limit our growth. . . . When we serve others in the church, bear with one another, love one another, correct one another, and encourage one another, we participate in a kind of ‘spiritual maturity co-op’ where our stores and supplies are multiplied.[2]

Some people avoid listening to sermons alongside other Christians because it might lead to correction. They like being uplifted by people, but they don’t want to be held accountable. But the “one anothers” of the New Testament involve both encouragement and admonishment. They present both privileges and challenges. They are bidirectional—we must position ourselves to be both givers and recipients of the “one anothers.”

Keith Drury comments:

We like the softer side of koinonia, by which the church provides healing, care, acceptance, and love. We might even like preaching and teaching—if it is interesting and has substance. But there is a harder side to koinonia: correction. We don’t like being corrected. When someone offers to correct us, we respond curtly: ‘Thank you very much, but mind your own business.’ Yet correction is the church’s business.[3]

We can’t afford to run away from community-accountability. The “one another” commands of Scripture require involvement in each other’s lives. They require intimacy. They call for trusting relationships. They necessitate transparency—the kind of openness that can only be developed over many interactions, over many years, in good times and in bad times.

Doing the “one anothers” means that we have the same goals in mind and we help each other to attain those goals. In order to have the same goals, we listen to the same God in the same sermon event and we decide together that we’re going to conform our lives to the Word of God received in that moment. We open ourselves up for input from each other. We ask for prayers, encouragements, questions, and warnings. We observe each other trying to live out God’s Word and we offer to help one another in the process. We get to know each other so intimately that our ability to live the “one anothers” improves over time. Digital social networking is good, but it’s not that good. It doesn’t go far enough.

Elizabeth Drescher promotes social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter as very real ways to experience fellowship and community connection. She claims, “such engagements invite a real intimacy that stands in stark contrast to the fantasy friendships encouraged by broadcast media.”[4] Drescher is right, but her point must be weighed in context. If all a person previously did was listen to sermons on CD or watch worship services on DVD, then a move toward interconnectivity via social media would be a step forward for them. But, if a person has tasted real fellowship in a real church, then the so-called “fellowship” of Facebook would be a step backward. It’s not that social media can’t be used to facilitate local church ministry—it can.  But it’s not a replacement to the church. Christians who know what vital genuine fellowship is won’t accept anything less.

Next week we’ll consider the Christian community that existed in Jerusalem in the days after Christ’s ascension back to His Father. The early church so embodied the “one anothers” of the New Testament that they turned their city upside down, living out the gospel of Jesus Christ, loving and serving one another. They modeled commitment to both corporate sermon-listening and fellowship.  Catch you back here in a week . . .

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[1] Wayne A. Mack, To Be or Not to Be a Church Member?: That Is the Question (Merrick, NY: Calvary Press, 2004), 26.

[2] Thabiti M. Anyabwile, What Is a Healthy Church Member? (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2008), 91.

[3] Keith Drury, There Is No I in Church: Moving Beyond Individual Spirituality to Experience God’s Power in the Church (Indianapolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing House, 2006), 30.

[4] Elizabeth Drescher, Tweet If You [Love] Jesus: Practicing Church in the Digital Reformation (Harrisburg, PA: Morehouse Publishing, 2011), 99.